Saturday, 7 August 2010

Support

This last week I've spent practically living at a friend's place and as always it's been great. Coming back home was the problem. My parents are crushing me and I'm dying to get out of here. Mum's quiet as usual and I don't have Dad's support. Everytime he asks me how my moving out is going, me moving out together with a friend, he thinks I seem like I don't have a clue about anything. Nothing. Can't do anything on my own. He keeps telling me I'm throwing away my future and my economy by moving out now and that he'd prefer to see me move out after I've finished my education and got myself a good job. No way in hell I'm gonna stay at home 'til I'm 25.

I don't want to be here, far away from everything and everyone. "Wanna hang out tonight?" "Sure, the bus just left so I'll be there in an hour and 30 minutes..." I'm old enough to take care of myself, I think I know how the world works good enough to do at least that. And I can't wait to prove it to them.

But to be completely honest, what bothers me the most is not to be stuck out here. It's to know that I don't have their support in anything I do. Oh no wait, I have their support in studying economy, because Mum studied economy so that's all good. I don't have their support moving out or becoming an author. Dad didn't think it would be a good idea for me to go to Japan on my own. But I did and it was all good. Wouldn't that have proven something? Proven a point? That I am old enough to take care of myself, that I know how the world works? They think they know everything about the world how it all works with flats and moving out. But here's some news for ya: the world has changed in 25 years. Whadd'ya know.

I know I'll always have my friends' support, but it's something special in having your parents support as well. It's a different kind of support and that kind they seem to have reserved for my little sister only. Dad don't see a problem if she chose to try to make a living out of playing the clarinet or oboe, because he played the clarinet himself when he was young. But I don't have his support trying to make a living out of writing. what's the goddamn difference anyway? It's a hell of a gambling job both of them.

It's nice to feel appreciated.

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