Saturday, 12 March 2011

Japan

When I got up yesterday I felt pretty good. Got up to the computer and got on Facebook. First thing I see is a comment about an earthquake in Japan. Heart in my throat I went to Reader to catch up on the morning's news and after reading everything about the 8.9 point on the Richter scale earthquake and the 10m tsunami caused by it I felt terrible and anxious. First thing I did was to post on the Walls of my friends in Japan. Recieving their answers that they were okay and no major damage was done to their homes or workplaces or loved ones I felt somewhat relieved. Moved on to check my other pages, especially the one with news and updates of my favourite Japanese artists and groups and found tweets that they were all okay. Phew.

After all of that I scarcely felt like going to school but I went anyway, but all the time had my day disrupted by heartache and worry for my beloved Tokyo and Japan. Sitting there I got updates about a fire in a nuclear plant in Japan and everything just felt worse and I turned bitter (but I'm not going to bring up my resentment against nuclear power here). I managed to go through almost all of my school day, just leaving one hour too early and because I did I saw four Japanese girls in the lobby of the school, three of them comforting the fourth one. Something terrible most have happened, it must have turned out worse than I first thought. I got home and the first thing I saw on my Reader was that the death toll was expected above 1000. I felt like crying.

That night we had some friends over and although we hadn't planned on drinking they had brought booze and I felt it was a good day to drink. All these ominous and sorrowful feelings had to go somewhere.

Today the first thing I did on my computer was to check the news. Everything seemed to have calmed down somewhat and I was a little relieved. On my Facebook a friend shared this link with pictures and I felt the horror as I looked through them (click for larger).

 


All these feelings ended in rage as I was given this link to read. My resentment against the US just keeps going up and they give me no reason not to hate them or their country.

I don't know if I'm being overly dramatic or overly sensitive or overly attached to Japan. But what I do know is that I'm extremely empathic to reading, watching TV, seeing pictures and people around me. I get all these feelings and I think it's a good characteristic to have but it's hard work feeling all these things.

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