Wednesday, 12 October 2011

A rant and some writing

I feel like blogging. I usually do. But my life is at a very uninteresting point right now consisting only of studying, eating and sleeping - in that order of priority. University is a bitch. I felt somewhat proud today though. One of my teachers usually talk very fast in French and she's full of energy and does everything very fast. Today on the other hand she was ill and low on energy. This meant that she was speaking more slowly and taking things at a more understandable pace. I actually understood everything and I talked (imagine that) I expressed by opinions and I spoke up if I thought I had found a solution to a problem. Usually I only sit quietly with a headache as company cause I put all my concentration on trying to understand what's going on. I don't have this problem with any other teacher, but I don't tell her about this. Why? Not cause I'm shy but because I want to learn to understand that fast talk as well. Anyway, is it bad if I wish she'd be ill(-ish) for the rest of the semester so that I can pass my most important exam?

I'm getting kind of worried about my upcoming exams. It's the beginning of October and I realise that this semester has been ongoing for over a month and it still feels like the first week. I feel like I'm in way over my head here and that I will fail every single exam. The first of which are in three weeks. I started to study for that exam this week. It's crazy! I never study for an exam a month in advance! I'm worried. That looming essay does nothing to make me feel better. Still when I read I feel like I understand loads. I feel like the language is kind of flowing naturally when I write although I make many mistakes (usually in the shape of prepositions and personal pronouns). When I talk it's a completely different story, but I've found that if I relax I don't get stuck on words and I won't stutter and it will simply sound better. Seems simple enough but it took me ages to figure out what was the problem.

Oh well, now I've been ranting and complaining some and that wasn't even what this post was supposed to be about. I felt like blogging and thus I was going to post some old writings of mine. On an old blog of mine (no longer existing) I posted a short story called "Dawn" that I wrote during a boring class in sxith form when I was about 17. I still like it a lot, though, and I will post it again at a different time. This time I'm going to show you my four poems originally written in English. I don't write many poems and I'm not very good at it (cause I never practice). Last time I made a poem was actually in 2009 but before that it was around 2006. I have poems in Swedish as well, but it's harder to write poems in Swedish cause I always want it to rhyme. That doesn't feel as necessary in English.

My first English language poem called "Vampire Princess" (I was 15 and depressed, ok?)
Vampire Princess
In love with the night
Help me live through this life
Dressed in black I follow
Life around me
Alive on the outside
Dead on the inside
A heart full of chaos and sorrows
My element is the chilly winter night
Candles and coats
The Northern wind, please, come play with me
Be my company
Cause I've got no other
The Stars and the Moon, please, shine upon me
Help me see through this darkness
Help me find my path
Cause I seem to have forgotten the purpose
Of my life

The second one is called "The Little Girl" (still 15 and depressed)
A little girl
She seems so nice
Bleeding heart and crying eyes
Dry but still crying
A sore soul
She wants to believe that there's something more
Warmth and love
Two elements undone
A cruel world
A world she has to meet
Cause there's no other
She wants to let go, but she cares too much
It demands courage
Courage she doesn't possess
She won't do it

Third one is called "The Time"
Only the narrator knows
What lies ahead
Time will tell
But will we?
The time flows
Forces us to go on - go away
There's no telling 
What it can do
What it will do

It hurts
But it's the truth
The truth always stings

I know that's the way it's said
Should we believe it then?
Should we trust it?
We try not to put our lives
in the hands of time
But we fail
Everyone fails
Every time

Even you

The last one is called "Daydream"
You're my daydream
You're always on my mind
Your face is always visible
If not direct, then indirect
I can see you

And when I'm with you
All I want to do is to keep looking at you
Never lose sight of you
Look into those eyes
Drown in crushed glass
Blue glass

I never thought one could feel so safe
in someone else's arms
But I know that in your arms
I'm safe
I can't be hurt
Because you won't let them
And I love you for it

I said I wasn't any good, so if you have to bash me do it nicely, please? 

No comments:

Post a Comment

What's the first thought in your head after reading this? Let me know!