Friday, 4 May 2012

Love mist

Warning! Delirious love annotations ahead.

Feels like I owe you a real post, but the last two weeks have been completely... off. I don't even know how to describe it; partly extreme joy, partly despair. Sometimes I don't even know what happened or how it happened. But it did and well, I'm pretty much stuck in a love mist at the moment.

In March I started talking to a guy online. I found him very interesting and he felt the same way and we decided we'd meet up at Metaltown in June. But after a few weeks of talking we considered meeting up earlier and on April 17th I got on a train. We live almost 600 km apart and the train takes 4 hours. I was extremely nervous when he picked me up at the station, and he was too. I could barely talk. We got to his place and sat around in his sofas, zapping around on the TV. The nerves started to go away but I was still so very shy. Then we went to bed and he held my hand. I couldn't sleep cause my heart was racing so fast and had to let go or I wouldn't have gotten any sleep at all. The next day it didn't feel at all weird when he held me and when he kissed me I felt like my heart would pop out of my chest. Later that day we went out for sushi and then we met up with some of his friends. We all ended up at their favourite bar for some chill drinks. I don't even remember what we did Thursday... Going back home on Friday was hard. I really liked the guy and going off to my train I felt sad having to leave and all the time it felt weird not having him by my side, like something was missing, and I had only known him IRL for three days!

I was home for almost four days before I went back to him to be with him for his five days off. This was last week April 24th - 30th. Being able to hold him again felt like a huge relief. That evening was just cuddles. The next day we went to a bar that was hosting a stand-up show and had some great time with his friends, then we moved along to their favourite bar for a short while. Thursday was all staying at home. We watched one of my DVDs (Monsters vs Aliens) and he cooked delicious food. We also had a go at his Xbox 360. Friday we went to Stockholm to watch The Avengers at the premiere. Awesome movie! Great fun. Saturday was party time, although most of the people who were supposed to show up cancelled we had a lot of fun anyway. After starting out at his place we went down to the favourite bar again. Some local band was reuniting so they wanted to see them and they were really good :) This night I got so wasted, and let's not even talk about the hangover... But the night ended wonderfully with cuddling and deciding that we were now together. Sunday was the most fun day. Along with the friend we hung out with the day before we decided to go back to the favourite bar for, what they called, a pick-me-up. Sunday turned out to be a greater day than Saturday. There were a lot of fun people there that they knew and we sat with them. We started cheering really loudly and messing up the table, then it just got crazy. There was beer and cider everywhere. And ice. Someone came up with the brilliant idea to shove ice down someone's shirt and then the war broke out. The war continued when one of them brought out a drink with whipped cream on top. Out of nowhere we started throwing whipped cream on each other. Five or six of those later... Well you can imagine. We switched table five or six times cause the tables just got too messy. All in all awesome evening. Monday it was time for me to go back home. I had a kind of pressure over my heart all day. Then when I got off at the station and left him on his train for work I had to think to remember to breathe. Just breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

I'm going back again on Tuesday. But being away from him is lonely. I miss him every minute of every day all the time. It's empty.

This is so not like me getting this wound up over a guy... How's he doing this? This is just so not like me...

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