At least my Bachelor thesis is handed in now. The deadline was today at noon and I handed it in yesterday afternoon. I feel a mixture of confidence and hopelessness. I think it's good enough and I do believe I'll pass, but there's just so much doubt. I want my result NOW!
Then there's the fact that I have my final exams in four days. Study, study, study :/ Grammar, reading comprehension, literary history, and linguistics. Joy. At the same time as I hate the study rush I'm in while being totally unmotivated, I can't help but feeling a little low and kind of blue. This is the last time I'll be taking a Japanese exam, or any exam for that matter. I'll miss Japanese - I always do. And despite hating to study right now, I'll miss it in a few months. I know I will, cause that's how I work.
What bothers me the most about having to study isn't that I have to read and remember lots, but it's the fact that my whole life has to be put on hold. I can't spend hours watching Doctor Who, Game of Thrones, Mad Men or some new series. I can't spend hours playing Skyrim or some other game. I can't spend hours writing on my stories, I even have to make sure I don't start thinking about storylines or I'll just stop studying. I can't spend hours reading Harry Potter fan fictions. I can't even spend hours reading my piles of unread books. And I miss all of it :( Sure I do watch an episode of a series or catch up on my YouTube subscriptions while I eat, and I do try to get at least one hour of gaming before going to sleep, but I can't spend the entire day doing something and it's hard.
Just 2½ more weeks and I'll be done. I'll get my life back then.
| Doctor Who | Game of Thrones | Mad Men | Star Trek | The Walking Dead | Joe Abercrombie | Neil Gaiman | JK Rowling | HP Lovecraft | Harry Potter | Skyrim | Total War | The Sims | Hello! Project |