Friday, 19 December 2014

Growing up in music

I've thought about doing this post for a while. Something like showing what I listened to ten years ago, when I was 13 and angry and the emo scene was at it's largest. And then compare it to what I listen to now, when I've matured and calmed down a bit ;) To begin with I embedded three videos per artist, but I soon figured that would make my blog's loading time an eternity... So here we go with links, lyric snippets, and logos instead. Hope it works :P

Favourite bands/artists+songs age 13-15 (2003-2006)
Avril Lavigne:
You don't know me. Don't ignore me. You don't want me there. You just shut me out.
My Happy Ending
It's nice to know that you were there. Thanks for acting like you cared, and making me feel like I was the only one.
How Does It Feel
How does it feel? How does it feel? You're different from me. Different!
Simple Plan:
Welcome to My Life
To be hurt. To feel lost. To be left out in the dark. To be kicked when you're down. To feel like you've been pushed around. To be on the edge of breaking down and no one's there to save you. No, you don't know what it's like. Welcome to my life. 
Hey, Dad, look at me. Think back and talk to me. Did I grow up according to plan? And do you think I'm wasting my time, doing things I wanna do? But it hurts when you disapprove all the time.
I'm Just A Kid
What the hell is wrong with me? Don't fit in with anybody. How did this happen to me? Wide awake, I'm bored and I can't fall asleep, and every night is the worst night ever.
Bring Me to Life
How can you see into my eyes like open doors? Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb. Without a soul. My spirit sleeping somewhere cold until you find it there and lead it back home. 
In my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby, I lie inside myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly over me. 
Sweet Sacrifice
It's true, we're all a little insane. But it's so clear now that I am unchained. Fear is only in our minds, taking over all the time. Fear is only in our minds, but it's taking over all the time. 
This is me for forever, one of the lost ones. The one without a name without an honest heart as compass.
She Is My Sin
I am the fallen. You are what my sins enclose. 
Slaying the Dreamer
I'm a priest for the poorest sacrifice. I'm but a raft in a sea of sorrow and greed. 
King of Fools
Keep on railing at what I believe. Call me insane and I'm proud to be.
Vain Glory Opera
We live to fight the hand of doom. We got the pride to strike a fool. Vain glory be my wicked guide.
Tears of a Mandrake
After the storm, when the magic is gone. Drown in the tears of a mandrake. Fading away, the final decay, try to move, break out of your chains.
Otsuka Ai:
数えきれない星空が今もずっとここにあるんだよ。The sky with countless stars will always be here.
愛情はなんて怖い物だから逃げたり求める。大人だとか子供だとかもう関係ないよ。Love is such a scary thing, that's why we run from it while we chase it. It doesn't matter if we're adults or children.
愛し合う二人幸せの空となりどうしあなたとあたしさくらんぼ。A happy couple in love, next to you we're like a couple of cherries. 

Favourite bands/artists+songs present day
Avril Lavigne:
Here's to Never Growing Up
Call up all our friends. Go hard this weekend for no damn reason. I don't think we'll ever change.
And that's why I smile. It's been a while since every day and everything has felt this right. 
What the Hell
All my life I've been good, but now I'm thinking what the hell. All I want is to mess around and I don't really care if you love me, if you hate me, you can't save me, baby, baby.
Simple Plan: 
This Song Saved My Life
You'll never know what it means to me, that I'm not alone, that I'll never have to be.
So tonight I'm calling all astronauts, all the lonely people that the world forgot. If you hear my voice come pick me up. Are you out there? Cause you're all I got.
Save You
If you fall, stumble down, I'll pick you up off the ground. If you lose faith in you, I'll give you strength to pull through. Tell me you won't give up, cause I'll be waiting if you fall, you know, I'll be there for you.
The Pretty Reckless:
Just Tonight
Just tonight I will stay and we'll throw it all away. When the light hits your eyes, it's telling me I'm right. And if I, I am through, then it's all because of you. 
Heaven Knows
One, two, three, and four, the devil's knocking at your door. Caught in the eye of a dead man's lie. Start your life with your head held hight. Now you're on your knees with your head hung low, big man tells you where to go. Tell 'em it's good, tell 'em ok, but don't do a goddamn thing they say.
House On A Hill
Somewhere in the end we're all insane to think that light ahead can save us from this grave that's in the end of all this pain.
Morning Musume:
失敗したってなんも焦らない。身に付いたスキル信じればいい。君がしたかったんだろう。Even if you fail you won't be impatient. It's better to believe in the skill you've acquired. Because you're the one who created it.
Wagamama Ki no Mama Ai no Joke
全然意味のない社交トーク、上手になれそうもない。無愛想って言わないで。こんな性格なんだよ。I don't see myself becoming good at pointless conversations. Don't call me unsociable. This is just what I'm like. 
Password is 0
信じる形。愛の形。信じる力。夢の力。何か始めるに明快な理由は要らない。The shape of believing. The shape of love. The power of believing. The power of dreams. You don't need a reason to start something new.
Alice Cooper:
Last Man On Earth
There's not a single soul to talk to me, but that's okay, I never liked them.
Wind-Up Toy
All my friends live on the floor. Tiny legs and tiny eyes. They're free to crawl under the door. And... and someday soon so will I.
Ballad of Dwight Fry
See my lonely life unfold. I see it every day. See my lonely mind explode. When I've gone insane. 
Black Veil Brides:
Fallen Angels
We're bored to death in heaven and all alone in hell. We only want to be ourselves.
The Mortician's Daughter
I will wait dear, a patience of eternity, my crush. A universe so still. No rust. No dust will grow on this frame. One million years, and I'll say your name. I love you more than I can ever scream.
Goodbye Agony
Not alone in forgiving the faithful and the blind. Innocence is forsaken. I leave them all behind, and then I see that even angels never die. 
I'll have you know that I've become indestructible. Determination that is incorruptible. From the other side a terror to behold. Annihilation will be unavoidable. Every broken enemy will know that their opponent had to be invincible. Take a last look around while you're alive. I'm an indestructible master of war. 
Your corruption is like a cancer growing inside. You owe the world an apology. You've been taught all your life that truth is easy to hide. You'll face your judgement another day and suffer eternally. 
Down With the Sickness
It seems you're having so trouble in dealing with these changes, living with these changes. The world is a scary place now that you've woken up the demon in me.
Within Temptation:
I can't live in a fairy tail of lies, and I can't hide from the feeling cause it's right. 
Paradise (What About Us?)
What about us? Isn't it enough? No, we're not in paradise. This is who we are. This is what we've got. No, it's not our paradise. But it's all we want and it's all that we're fighting for. Though it's no paradise.
What Have You Done
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
The Riff
So the devil's out of touch and he cannot smell a hit, cause he has lost his mind with all that hip hop shit.
It Snows in Hell
Your life goes on and it's infuriating. How did you not get caught?
The Children of the Night
In the day and night I hear 'em sigh. The children of the night are calling.
Tsuyoku Naritai
つよくなりたい。つよくなりたい。自分にはウソをつけない。やりたい事叶える為来たんだ。大丈夫。明日を信じていこう。I want to become strong. I want to become strong. I can't lie to myself. I came here to do things I want. I'm alright. I'll keep believing in tomorrow.
あなたは今何を思っていますか。いつも私のことだけ考えていますか。離さないでいて。私を見て。まだ間に合うでしょう。What are you thinking right now? Are you always thinking about me? Don't let go. Look at me. We still have time.
「好き」なんて言えない。あなひか見えないよ。瞳があうたび、声を聞くたび、愛しくなる、切なくなる。「好き」だけど苦しい。今の私どう映ってるの。誰かを見る横顔はふり向かない。ふり向かせたい。もしも二人で寄り添いあってキスしたらなんて思っても。叶わないのに。叶わないのに。あなたに恋していいですか。私じゃダメかな。もうどうしようもないくらい想い止まらないの。ああ ずっとずっと一緒にいれたらいいのに・・・本気なんです。本気で好きなんです。Somehow I can't say "I love you". I can't see anything but you. When our eyes meet, when I hear your voice, you become dear, I become sad. "I love you" but it hurts. How do you see me? I see your profile looking at someone. You don't look back at me. I want you to look back at me. I wish we could cuddle and kiss. But it won't come true. It won't come true. Is it okay that I'm in love with you? Am I no good? I don't know what to do, I can't stop these feelings. Ah, it would be nice if we could be together forever. It's true. I really love you.
Stone Sour: 
You were my fire, so I burned 'til there was nothing left of me.
Through Glass
So while you're outside looking in, describing what you see. Remember what you're staring at is me.
Zzyxz Rd.
I'm only here for a while, but patience is not my style, and I'm so tired that I gotta go. Where am I supposed to hide now? What am I supposed to do? Did you really think I wouldn't see this through?
The Power
さくっと世界羽ばたく。めっちゃ偉大な力。さくっと世界羽ばたく。そんなPowerはいかが。Promptly open your wings and fly towards the world. A very great power. Promptly open your wings and fly towards the world. How does this power sound?
I miss you
大人になった。髪も伸ばした。恋も覚えた。失恋知った。母とのケンカ激しくなった。男友達意味なく増えた。私の事は自分でしたい。未来の事も早く決めたい。彼氏だっても指示はさせない。後で後悔したくないから。I've become an adult. I've grown out my hair. I've learned about love. I've had my heart broken. The fights with my mother have gotten intense. I have more guy friends for no reason. I want to decide things on my own. I want to make decisions for my future soon. I don't let even my boyfriend have a say. Because I don't want to regret it later.
Aitai Lonely Christmas
会いたいのに。会いたいのに。君の顔をね 少し見たいだけ。クリスマスは君と過ごせるのかな。こんな気持ち初めて。I want to see you. I want to see you. I just want to see your face for a bit. Will I be able to spend Christmas with you? It's the first time I've felt this way.

Thursday, 18 December 2014

More Dragon Age stuffs!!! :D

I'm in fangirl mode. I want to go back to Thedas so bad, but I can't get my hands on Dragon Age 3 until after Xmas cause I don't know if the game will be a gift for me... So I can't buy it myself because of that reason :P But I found this 30-day challenge on tumblr, and like always I'm gonna do all the questions in one go!

1. Favourite Dragon Age game?
I'm still very much inside the story of Dragon Age 2 and running around in Kirkwall. But there's no way 2 is better than Origins. So Origins, it is. No big surprise there, right?

2. Favourite character?
I would so like to say Alistair, but Merrill stole my heart.

3. Least favourite character?
Good question. I always had trouble with Sten, but I didn't really dislike him... I guess I'm gonna have to say Anders in 2. I really liked both Anders and Justice in Awakening, but them mashed up together in 2 just made me angry. Sorry, Anders.

4. Favourite love interest?
ALISTAIR! He is so friggin cute :3

5. Least favourite love interest?
I had way too much fun with the romance in both games... I don't even know if I have one. I think I have to say Anders again. Because of all the secrecy and the way he broke my char's heart... Not even Fenris did that when he walked away...

6. Your Warden's story?
She's named Kallian and she's a city elf, so she had the city elf beginning of going to be force-wed to a human noble. Her best friend Shianni accidentally killed the one she'd marry, all hell breaks loose and she somehow finds herself being saved from the noose by Duncan. She sided with Lord Harrowmont in Orzammar, and the elves in the Brecilian Forest, and she let Connor's mom (totally forgot her name) sacrifice herself in order to save her son. And also she let Morrigan perform her ritual with Alistair so none of them would have to die to kill the archdemon. Does that about cover it? I think so...

7. Favourite quest?
Wow. Erm. I tend to like the companion quests more than the main story. That was true for both Origins and 2. I felt closer to the companions somehow. But I can't pick a favourite.

8. Least favourite quest?
Easily the one ending with having to kill all of the Dalish at Sundermount in Dragon Age 2. I've never felt so terrible.

9. Favourite class?
I tried for mage in Origins at first, but I tend to have a hard time with mages in any RPG. Don't know why. But for my second try I thought "fuck it, warrior is said to be the easiest class let's go with that one". So I did. But for Dragon Age 2 I picked rogue, because normally I do a rogue-type in all RPGs. I preferred rogue in DA too.

10. Favourite party banter?
Anything involving Alistair in Origins. Then picture having Fenris and Merrill in the same party. There you go. Best banter ever.
"But your face might crack if you smile so be careful." - Merrill to Fenris

11. Favourite song from the soundtracks?
Oh... Probably the main theme from Origins. I tend not to pay attention to those things... ^^;

12. OTP?
My own character with Alistair in Origins. They were seriously so damn cute together that I sat and actually squealed every time they were romantic ^^;

13. Mages or Templars?
If it wasn't for the fact that blood magic exists I would've said mages. But now it does, so templars.

14. Character you wish was a romance option?

15. Your favourite Bro?
Leliana in Origins. Merrill in 2.

16. Your ultimate team from all games?
Origins: Leliana, Morrigan, Alistair
Awakening: Nathaniel, Anders, Justice
2.1: Fenris, Merrill, Anders
2.2: Fenris, Isabela, Sebastian

17. Favourite Origins story?
Shale's background story.

18. Character you are most like?
I want to say someone cool like Morrigan :P But I think I have to say Merrill; cute, intelligent, awkward, and a bit too trusting.

19. Character who'd be your best friend?
Alistair. Definitely. Possibly both Nathaniel and Anders. Also definitely Varric. Merrill is definitely in there too.

20. Character you wouldn't get along with?
I really like both Leliana and Sebastian, but IRL I tend to have a hard time around religious people...

21. Favourite villain?
The Architect. You know, I almost spared him just cause I liked him...

22. Favourite NPC?

23. Scene you wish you could change the outcome of the most?
Leandra dying in 2. I cried. I hardly ever cry because of games. But this time I did.

24. Most shocking scene?
See above.

25. Scene that made you cry?
See above.

26. Crack OTP?
What does that even mean? O_o

27. Best part of the game?
The epic dragon fights in Origins (the archdemon and the high dragon on the mountain). The epic boss fight against Meredith in 2. Also the romance in both. I love the romance!

28. Worst part of the game?
Honestly? The getting stopped by various enemies attacking out of nowhere while trying to travel somewhere in Origins! GET OUTTA MY WAY FUCKERS I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU!

29. If you made a deal with a demon what would your bargain be?
It would definitely be a desire demon. There's so much I want. But I have no idea what I want the most. I can't say.

30. Hopes for Dragon Age 3?
That I'll meet my old characters in-game! THAT WOULD BE SO FRIGGIN AWESOME!!!

Thursday, 11 December 2014

Dragon Age 2 is done - twice!

I've played through Dragon Age 2 twice since my last post... That's twice in a week xD I expected something really bad and extremely different from Origins, because I haven't encountered ANYONE who's had anything positive to say about Dragon Age 2. But tbf I don't find it bad or even extremely different from Origins. Sure it took me a really long time to figure out what was actually the main story of 2, and it felt like lazy game design to make every single dungeon look the same - but that's the only bad things I have noticed about 2. The fighting has cooler animations and movements than in Origins, but I don't find it very different from Origins otherwise. It's still tell the active character what to attack and press numbers for special abilities. No button-mashing and no hack'n'slash.

Also, I've gone through both games saying: "Please, don't be a dragon. I don't want to fight a dragon. Please, don't be... oh fuck..." Seriously, I'm playing a game series called Dragon Age, the word dragon is literally in the name of the series, and I still expect on some level to not have to fight dragons?! I'm such a baka. xD

When it comes to characters there wasn't a single one that didn't give me some kind of intense feelings, and to me a character that gives me some kind of feeling definitely shows of good characters. Aveline bothered me, I just want to hug Merrill cause she's so adorable, Fenris is just... wow o.o, Anders makes me angry, Varric is like an awesome big brother, Isabela is like the crazy best friend that you know you shouldn't hang out with but you just can't stay away, and Sebastian is the calm in the storm - the voice of reason among all the other crazy. It's funny how the only characters I never really liked were the family ones. I know there's a scenario where Carver lives through the prologue, but it didn't happen in neither of my playthroughs so I have no opinion whatsoever of him, Leandra is passéiste (French word because it's the best word ever for someone living in the past), Gamlen is an ass, and Bethany is just plain bland.
The companions: Fenris, Isabela, Varric, Aveline, (player), Bethany, Merrill, Anders, Sebastian

During my first playthrough I always chose the diplomatic/helpful dialogue options. As soon as I saw that Anders was in the game as a companion I had decided to pursue a romance with him and so I always sided with the mages. Until Anders blew up the chantry with all the chantry people still inside. I did a complete turnaround and sided with Meredith in the end (although I really don't like her and preferred Orsino). My default team became Fenris, Merrill and Anders. But I seriously didn't like how my first playthrough came about, so I decided to go through it all again. I really liked both Anders and Justice in Awakening, so it made me kind of angry to discover what they had done with two of my boys :/

During my second playthrough I always chose the humorous/charming dialogue options which made my new character a really joking personality which was a lot more fun to play. I wanted to get everyone to like me this time (except Anders cause I got really mad at him after his little stunt), but getting Merrill to like me was difficult since I had decided to pursue Fenris romantically and, due to Anders' stunt, side with the templars all the time. I had also read that the end of act 2 would be easier if Isabela was friendly with me so this time I made sure to always have her in my party. My default party in my second playthrough became Fenris, Isabela and Sebastian. Although I switched Isabela for Aveline or Varric sometimes, and Sebastian for Merrill or Anders sometimes. In my first playthrough I had decided to leave Bethany at home when I went into the Deep Roads, but that ended up with her getting caught in the Circle. So for my second playthrough I decided to bring her with me to save her from that - and that had her killed. Great -.-' Is there even a way to keep Bethany?

So for my second playthrough I made a character that held nothing sacred, joked about everything and only did what she wanted. So I flirted with everyone, but only actively pursued Fenris. I got him in bed and he walked out on me. So I went to Isabela and she wanted nothing serious. So I went to Merrill who blurted out that she loved me, and I was still convinced that there would be a way to continue my romance with Fenris if I wasn't involved with anyone else, so I turned Merrill down - something I sort of regret now, but I won't make a third playthrough just because of Merrill. (Although she's adorable enough to play the game for. Seriously, Fenris and Merrill are the best ones in the entire game).

Let's not go into the fact that I mentally squealed every time I encountered a character from Origins: Flemeth, Bodahn, Sandal, Anders, Isabela, Alistair, Nathaniel, Sketch, Leliana... It was a lot of fun to run into a bunch of the Denerim nobles at the party in Mark of the Assassin DLC. Also, Tallis bothered me for ages! As soon as she showed up I thought the she really reminded me of someone and I just couldn't figure out who. So I looked it up - Felicia Day! Ofc she's Felicia Day. That's also when I realised that I didn't fight Sten 5-6 times in the end of Act 2. It says on Tallis' wiki page that "just like Sten, Tallis isn't her name but her grade within the Qunari"... Well, that explained a lot! xD I also loved all the references to Awakening DLC in Legacy DLC.

But to sum things up - I like Dragon Age 2. Not as much as Origins obviously, but I don't think it's bad. I was given the impression that it would be terrible. But I liked it. I enjoyed it.

Also: "The Champion is gone. Just like the Warden." "That can't be a coincidence." Dare I hope that I will encounter my previous characters in Dragon Age: Inquisition?!?!?!??!?!

Wednesday, 3 December 2014

Dragon Age: Origins has been completed

After years of being nagged suggested by guy friends to play Dragon Age, I finally picked up Origins in 2012, but I just couldn't get into the story. I tried again in 2013 and it was the same thing. Then when Dragon Age 3 was released a couple of weeks ago I decided to get through it, because the Internet basically exploded with Dragon Age and I always want to know what the hell is going on. But I didn't have the energy to start over with the prologue again so I decided to continue with the save I started in 2013. In that save I had completed the city elf prologue and the battle of Ostagar, been saved by Flemeth, been given Morrigan, met Leliana and Sten, lost Lothering, and found my way to Redcliffe. So that's where I was when I picked up the story. I didn't remember all of that when I picked it up, but as I played the holes were filled.

It soon became obvious that I had quit playing just before the action really started and it didn't take long for me to really get into the game and become completely addicted. I had chosen to play as a female city elf and it was a lot of fun, despite the blatant racism in the game towards elves (although I'm kinda used to that from Elder Scrolls). I soon had my favourite team that I picked every time I left camp; Leliana, Alistair, and Morrigan. I apparantly missed two companions; Wynne and Zevran. Zevran was sent by Loghain as an assassin to kill me so I killed him. Wynne didn't like that I sided with the templars during the quest in the Circle's tower so she challenged me to a battle and died. Otherwise I got them all :) I knew that the game had romance options and to begin with I had decided to go for Leliana as she was the my first favourite character. But the romance options showed up for Alistair before they showed up for Leliana so I decided to go for Alistair, and it was the best move ever! Alistair is incredibly cute. Before I knew it the love story around Alistair became the ground work for every decision I made. I decided not to make Alistair king because he didn't want to and that would separate us. I figured an unhappy king would make a bad king. I didn't force-marry him to Anora cause that would also qualify as an unhappy king. The love story was also the reason why I decided to go along with Morrigan's ritual so that none of us would have to die. 
The companions: Ohgren, Leliana, Sten, Morrigan, (player), dog, Alistair, Wynne, Zevran, Shale

I continued on with Awakening DLC and for a really long time I wanted to find Alistair, but then I read on the wiki that he wouldn't show unless he was made king in the base game. Too bad. But then in the epilogue it showed up that the Grey Warden only stayed in Amaranthine for a short while and then went away to be with Alistair. That made me squeal. Such a fangirl :3 I really liked both Anders and Nathaniel however. Would've been fun to flirt a bit with either of them, but the DLCs don't have romance. My default group in Awakening became Nathaniel, Anders, and Justice. It was also nice to see Ohgren make a comeback in the DLC :)
The companions: Velanna, Nathaniel, Ohgren, (player), Anders, Sigrun, Justice

Then I played Witch Hunt, Leliana's Song, The Golems of Angarrak, and The Darkspawn Chronicles - in that order. Witch Hunt was very interesting and I really liked Finn and the short reunion with Morrigan was so worth it ^^ Leliana's Song told the story (in a kind of Kill Bill style) what happened when Leliana broke it off with Marjolaine. It was a lot of fun to play through that story, especially with the catchy and fun background music. The Golems of Angarrak had the hardest final boss fight in the entire game. To the point where all of my characters were dead except Brogan who successfully (and with the help of the humongous pile of health potions I had collected throughout base game and DLCs) defeated the disgusting Harvester. I didn't play much of The Darkspawn Chronicles tbh. I started it and then got as far as having to kill the Arl. No health potions and my darkspawn outnumbered five-to-one... Yeah... No. Also I really liked Denerim as a city so it felt like betrayal to be the forces to attack and destroy it. 
Companions of the small DLCs: Ariane & Finn (& dog) from Witch Hunt, Sketch, Tug & Silas from Leliana's Song, Jerrik, Snug, Golem & Brogan from Golems of Angarrak

I finished The Golems of Angarrak and The Darkspawn Chronicles yesterday and immediately after that I started up Dragon Age 2. I have heard a lot of bad things about that game, but thus far I don't think it's that different from Origins. Tbf I haven't left Kirkwall yet. I love all the references to what I did in Origins! And I squealed when Anders showed up! My female Hawke is so getting together with him!

And I had planned on having lots of screenshots in this post, but since DA:O refuses to upload the screenshots to my online profile, and Origin doesn't have a screenshot button that saves screenshots to my computer... that proved impossible. So all pictures in this post is from the courtesy of Google. 

Monday, 1 December 2014

All that adultness!

So right after I complained about not feeling properly adult in my last post I've had one of my most adult weeks ever. On Sunday 23rd I did a testrun for a job I had applied for. It went well and on Thursday I went to the subsequent staff meeting, receiving work clothes etc. On Friday and Saturday I had work with one of my dad's contacts, which went really well and was surprisingly fun considering it was mostly the same thing I've been doing my entire life and which I now want to move on from. I've done that for 20 years - time to move on to the next thing. And then today I had work from early morning to early afternoon.

The bad thing is that I'm not used to having an ordinary sleeping pattern. Usually I go to sleep around 3am and get up around 1pm, so now when I've been forced to adjust my sleep the result is that I'm constantly tired. I went to bed around 2am on Thursday to be able to rise early for the staff meeting - unfortunately I couldn't sleep until 4.30am. So I only got about 5½ hours sleep, thanks to that I fell into bed at 11.30pm but was still dead tired when I woke up at 6am on Friday. I fell to bed at 11.30pm again that night and then got up at 7am.

Basically I've gotten the sleeping pattern and all those working hours down. I've had coffee in the staff room, bantered with co-workers during work hours, and felt accomplished once I left work for the day. It all feels so grown-up. And instead of going to sleep when I got home today I did two batches of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, went to buy groceries and cooked dinner. I'm on a roll!

So for the rest of the day I'm going to eat crisps on a work day and watch Pokémon. Just to neutralise all the adultness.

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

I'm an adult now... well, sort of.

And there was my 24th birthday. I'm 24 years old now and I feel like I'm supposed to be an adult now, but I still feel as in-between as I did 10 years ago. At 14 I felt in-between a child and an adult, and as a teenager that's what I was. At 24 I feel in-between a teenager and an adult. But that's the problem; I'm not a teenager and I feel very grown up when I'm around them, but I also feel very young and inexperienced when I'm around older adults. I also feel as if that's what they think about me. Older adults don't think of me as an equal - as someone just as grown up as they are, they still see me as young, almost a child. I don't belong with the adults, not really. But I neither belong with the teenagers.

I've heard of a rift before. That my generation is taking longer to "grow up" than earlier generations. That my generation considers themselves grown-up around 30-35, while earlier generations considered themselves grown-up around 20-25. I don't know if it's true, but I certainly feel that way. It's sort of conflicting. I'm supposed to be an adult now, but I don't feel it.

Thursday, 13 November 2014

Doctor Who series 8 - my thoughts

This post is basically a major spoiler. I you have yet to complete series 8 of Doctor Who don't even look at it! And if you still do... well, it's your funeral.

Series 8 of Doctor Who is over and I'm a mess! I saw it today and omg it was a masterpiece! I don't even know where to start. Every single episode has been amazing in its own way. My favourites by far are Flatline and the double episode finale Dark Water/Death in Heaven. Capaldi's Doctor grows on me the more I see of him and amazingly Clara has grown so much as a character in this series that I'm actually sad to see her go. There were hints before the season started that Jenna Coleman wouldn't be around for another season and that last bit of Death in Heaven felt very final. But I don't want it to be. Clara is his new best friend. He needs a best friend, we've already established that he shouldn't be alone for too long. And I've come to like Clara, although I never thought I would, I don't want to see her go.

Then there's Missy. Holy shit Missy! There were whispers from the very first episode that she was a new incarnation of some gallifreyan from Classic era. I was hoping for Romana, and I after the revealing in the end of Dark Water I couldn't really wrap my head around the fact that Missy was the Master. But now after I've seen Death in Heaven it fits so well. Missy is the Master and she's bananas.

The series have been bursting with references to Classic and I feel all warm inside when I spot them. Although I still haven't seen further than half of Pertwee's era. And oh, the double finale were basically filled to the brim with references! The Brig finally got his salute and I felt like crying (and all I did was smiling like an idiot). I also felt like crying when I thought Kate died and when Osgood died...

But seriously, these episodes... Was Doctor Who always such an emotional roller coaster? Series 8 has been emotionally amazing, and no episode can be forgotten.

Deep Breath. I've already talked about Deep Breath. But let's sum it up once more: Paternoster Gang, sequel to The Girl in the Fireplace, dinosaur in London, wonderfully steampunk, and absolutely brilliant.

Into the Dalek."Don't be lasagne." The episode in which the Doctor is actually a doctor. Well, trying. Trying to help a dalek get better and the only reward he gets is being called a good dalek. Nice one. Also parallells to Eccleston's first dalek episode.

Robot of Sherwood. "I am the Doctor and this is my spoon." I don't think any other episode of this season has made me laugh as much as this one. It was hilarious, although it got a little confusing at the end with the Sheriff being friends with robots who needs melted gold... But on the whole a really heart-warming and funny episode.

Listen. I feel like the episode was ruined by the ending. It was properly creepy up until you found out the source of everything, then it all just collapsed and I felt a bit disappointed. But up until that moment it was a fantastic episode! Unfortunately it's one of those that can only be seen once because all the mystery has now been taken out of it...

Time Heist. "Basically, it's the eyebrows." A bit James Bond/Mission Impossible themed. I really liked it. The fact that the bad guy and the good guy were the same person was really interesting and the whole objectibe behind the scheme made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

The Caretaker. This episode was basically about Danny getting in the way of the Doctor. I was looking forward for a cameo by William Russell as Ian Chesterton, who was a teacher at Coal Hill School in the 60's and is apparantly now on the board according to last year's Christmas special. But nope. Still a lot of fun (albeit a bit annoying) to have Danny get in on the action.

Kill the Moon. Probably my least favourite episode of the season, but it still had its moments. Courtney was definitely one of them. I feel like the Doctor's behaviour was a bit unfair towards Clara, and I definitely understood why she got angry with him. The episode in all was a bit depressing, but also exciting and a bit creepy. What other TV show can get away with making the moon a giant egg? And what was that thing that came out of it? A space dragon? xD

Mummy on the Orient Express. Another of my favourites. Beautifully steampunk, with a homicidal AI. It felt a bit Sherlock Holmes, like a video version of one of those Sherlock Holmes point-and-click games, but set in space instead of Victorian London. A wonderfully haunting episode, with a whodunit twist.

Flatline. Easily my favourite of the season and the most creepy of them all. This episode also gave Clara a huge opportunity to shine, which she really did. Two dimensional creatures trying to figure out how three dimensions work and accidentally flattening people in the process. Isn't that lovely? Having the Doctor trapped in his Tardis did call for some funny moments too :)

In the Forest of the Night. This was a weird one, but it can also be seen as a homage to nature. The trees protect us. Although the episode was weird and hard to make sense of it was also a milestone in Danny and Clara's relationship, as well as getting the Doctor to declare the Earth as his new home. It was teary-eyed beautiful in the end, despite all the confusion.

Dark Water. Danny died and I was unsure whether he would come back. Moffat had addressed his problem with reviving dead characters during the summer, and I took that as a hint that dead characters would stay dead in series 8. No more Rorys. I figured out that the finale concered Cybermen pretty quickly. Something stirred when Dr. Chang told us that only organic matter was visible in the dark water, and then everything clicked when I saw the shape of the windows in the doors. Then there's the beautiful reference to The Tomb of the Cybermen.

Death in Heaven. The Master is back, Cybermen all over the place, the Brig is there, UNIT is around, Osgood is quoting Eleventh, Missy is quoting Second ("Oh, my giddy aunt!"), and Danny saves the day. I was right that Danny wouldn't come back to life, so now I'm also sure that Osgood won't. I was so relieved when they found out that the Brig had saved Kate - they can't kill a Lethbridge-Stewart, and that's final! I'm pretty sure that Missy will be back, though. They were hinting towards her getting killed, but honestly the Master has cheated death so many times that it wouldn't even be Moffat's fault if she did come back.

I don't know why people complain about the new Doctor. They say he's too grumpy, too mean, too cynical... I love him. He's not the good-looking potential love-interest boy anymore. He's like he should be. Like he was supposed to be to begin with. And who says the Doctor is not funny?